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Jimmy Kimmel Gets His Revenge on Matt Damon
By DAN GOOD
The “feud” has resumed.
The cast of the movie “The Monuments Men” appeared on Thursday’s episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live” – including longtime Kimmel nemesis Matt Damon, his first appearance on the program since he "hijacked" it for an episode last year.
This time, Damon was with his “Monuments Men” co-stars – George Clooney, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman and Bob Balaban. The movie details a World War II platoon’s real-life efforts to rescue priceless artwork from Nazi thieves.
The abuse began during the episode’s opening segment, a popular Kimmel staple called “Mean Tweets” where celebrities read insulting internet comments about themselves aloud. John Hamm, Jennifer Garner and Joseph Gordon-Levitt appeared in the clip.
But instead of some unknown tweeter, Matt Damon’s criticism came from Kimmel himself – who stood in the corner, mouthing along as Damon read.
“Go buy another zoo and live in it,” Kimmel wrote (among other things), mocking one of Damon’s movies.
Much of the episode featured Damon sitting inside a dressing room, enduring slams from the host and guests as he watched the episode on closed-circuit TV.
The cast was introduced. Clooney, Goodman, Murray and Balaban stepped on the set. Where was Damon? Damon remained in his dressing room, fuming over the slight, his microphone muted.
The stars of the film discussed the movie process, saying Damon “will not speak to others” and that he “needed the most ‘me time’” on set.
With 10 minutes left in the episode, Kimmel finally introduced “the least of the Monuments Men.” Damon joined the stage, and was left standing without a chair. Damon complained, and a chair was provided – a wooden chair meant for a 5-year-old, set beside the studio’s plush, roomy couches.
As Damon sat on his tiny chair, Kimmel lobbed anti-Damon questions at the rest of the cast before showing a risqué pool clip from Damon’s Liberace biopic “Behind the Candelabra.” Kimmel asked Clooney what’s next for Damon.
“He’s auditioning for a cereal commercial. I think he’s got a really good shot at getting it,” Clooney said.
Damon wanted a question of his own, an actual question.
OK … fine. As Kimmel started his question about working with Clooney, the studio erupted in red light – a fire alarm. The audience cleared out, but Damon wouldn’t leave.
“It’s obviously a trick! There’s no fire,” he said.
But two firefighters appeared, spraying Damon with fire extinguishers until his blue sweater was covered in foam. Damon screamed into the camera, berating the host and audience and band, vowing revenge as the credits rolled.