by JARRETT BELLINI / CNN
Editor's note: Each week in "Apparently This Matters," CNN's Jarrett Bellini applies his warped sensibilities to trending topics in social media and random items of interest on the Web.
(CNN) -- I'm typing this in bed, lying next to my dog, Mikey. We're best buds, and it's sort of a thing we do. There's also the occasional tongue kiss.
His tongue. Not mine.
But we're definitely pretty tight, and he trusts me with most anything. Save for dressing him up. I once tried to put special doggy hiking shoes on him and that was the closest he ever came to formulating human words.
He definitely tried to call me, "Ginger boy."
So, the other day, I was completely amazed when I stumbled on a trending Tumblr blog dedicated to dressing up cats.
Dogs are one thing. But, as we all know, cats are evil and sinister, and will disfigure you on a whim, particularly when you are making a spirited attempt to make them look pretty.
"Sorry to hear about Diane. What happened?"
"She put a ribbon on Snickers."
But maybe dressing up your cat isn't actually such a bad idea.
The popular blog is called Meowtfit, and it was recently started by a fun couple in Gothenburg, Sweden, who, one day, decided to accessorize their 16-year-old Siamese cat, Gucci, with a pair of women's leggings.
Katja Wulff explained to me, "We often dress our cats in little outfits and one day we just tried leggings with Gucci. She didn't mind, and she looked so funny in the tights. So, we started the Meowtfit blog."
Two weeks later, after it was featured on the website Sad and Useless, Meowtfit became an international viral smash hit.
So, if productivity is suddenly down in your office, blame Sweden.
Of course, that's my excuse for everything.
"Sir, this restaurant requires pants."
"Yeah, but you know ... Sweden."
As the blog became more popular, Wulff, along with her graphic designer boyfriend, Dan Sörensen, started a Facebook page where they also post fan submissions. Apparently, cats in tights has now sort of become a thing. But accept no imposters. Gucci was first.
Wulff says her secret to doing it right is stuffing the leggings with "other tights, panties, and some of Dan's boxers I don't like. He doesn't know that."
So, if you have a recently-updated will, ski goggles, and a full set of medieval chainmail, and want to try this at home, by all means do it. What could possibly go wrong?
"Siri, how do you get human blood off the ceiling?"
Of course, because this is the Web -- a place where horrible, boring people come to complain about everything -- a few visitors to the Meowtfit blog thought this was all rather cruel.
But Wulff doesn't mind the (very) limited criticism. She says, "Gucci likes it when we give her this attention. It's impossible to force a cat to pose like she does. So, I don't care."
Besides, Wulff is actually used to angry comments from her other blog.
And as I inquired about her other presence on the Web, I soon discovered I was e-mailing with somebody remarkably creative and unique, and completely worth writing about.
So, the cat blog discussion is over. It's amazing. Check it out. Full stop.
But, now I want you to really get to know Wulff, who is officially my new favorite person on the planet.
(Sorry, Mr. T. It's been a good, long run, but you've been replaced.)
The other blog Wulff was talking about is something called Kaffekokarkokboken, which sounds like you accidentally inhaled a Wheat Thin, but loosely translates to "Coffee Boiling Cookbook."
It's all about making food in a coffee maker. Naturally.
"I've been doing it for almost five years now," Wulff says. "It started when I didn't have a kitchen, and now it's a hobby."
It seems that a coffee maker can be used in many different ways beyond just its intended purpose. Which, of course, is to take up space on your counter next to the Keurig.
(Confession: I recently made the switch. It's completely wasteful and unnecessary, and I love it. Up yours, planet Earth!)
But according to Wulff's blog -- where you can find an excellent English-language primer on the subject -- the plate can by used for frying, the pot for cooking, and the "filter thingy" for steaming.
And, although I can't understand the text, her blog is actually quite beautiful -- it's even won the Swedish food blog of the year.
Which, apparently, exists.
Wulff and Sörensen also turned their coffee pot hobby into an actual cookbook, and it includes lots of great photo cameos by Gucci and their other two cats, Iggy and Zappa.
Of course, running two blogs is great and all, but the real kicker is this: Wulff's actual day job is as a professional balloon artist!
She says, "The balloon thing is not that big in Sweden, so I'm not as crazy good as your American balloon artists. But when I do work at events, parties, festival and stuff, people (especially children and drunk adults) always love it."
Seriously, Wulff is an international treasure, and she needs to be cloned.
Besides, if our future world goes to hell, at least we'll know who to blame.