The Least Romantic Valentines Anywhere Come From DC

Struggling to find a valentine’s message in Hallmark’s 1,400-card collection? The romantics over at the Republican National Committee have you covered. The RNC recently released a series of eight Valentine’s Day cards taking aim at prominent Democrats.
By Erin Dooley

Struggling to find a valentine’s message in Hallmark’s 1,400-card collection? The romantics over at the Republican National Committee have you covered. The RNC recently released a series of eight Valentine’s Day cards taking aim at prominent Democrats.

“If you like this Valentine, you can keep it,” quips the Barack Obama card — an allusion to the president’s now-infamous promise, “if you like your plan, you can keep it.”

Another card mocks Democrats’ decision to change Senate filibuster rules: “Can we take this to the nuclear level?” asks the valentine picturing Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

“I’d never flip-flop on our love,” says a card featuring former Florida Gov. Charlie Christ, who defected from the Republican party in 2012.

The RNC collection also included a valentine inspired by one of the world’s most intimidating “tough guys,” Russian President Vladimir Putin.

“I’m Putin the moves on you,” it says.

Of course, if you’re trying to woo a left-leaning paramour, the RNC valentines may not be the way to go. A little more non-partisan, the Supreme Court valentines released last year by Georgetown University’s Law Weekly are sure to sweep that special someone right off his or her feet.

One pictures the ever-saucy Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg and reads, “You violated the 5th Amendment when you  took my heart without due process.”

Another shows Clarence Thomas asking, “Who needs this Valentine? My love for you is res ipsa loquitur,” which is Latin for “the thing speaks for itself.”

News website Mashable released 11 “House of Cards” valentines sure to make your Netflix-addicted sweetheart swoons.

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d totally kill a congressman for you.”

“I love you, you love me, let’s extort the next VP.”

“I’ll be your majority whip if you let me bang your gavel.”

A warning to those with beaus who love political intrigue: you may not get much attention on Feb. 14 — Netflix is set to release the entire “House of Cards” Season Two on Valentine’s Day.
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