The joy of young love…Summer is the prime time for both weddings and engagements. But do you really know that you and your partner can make through the tough times?
I sat down with Preaching Minister and Marriage Counselor, Dale Mannon from Green Lawn Church of Christ to get some answers.
Do you remember the old book, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’? Dale makes it very clear that, “males and females are very different in the way we communicate and the way we think.” He tells me that life together is just beginning. Marriage is hard and requires constant work.
Mannon said couples really struggle on is, “going from me to we. Especially if they have been single adults for a while and have their own routine. Merging lives is a challenge, and they are still living selfishly many times.”
The largest things that Dale told me he focuses on during premarital counseling were what he calls the big three. Communication, finances and sex.
“It may be surprising, Terri, that my experience is that people are not very well prepared in any of those areas. There’s not a great understanding, not a depth of understanding about those things. When it comes to finances, oftentimes, you’ll have a spender and a saver and they don’t even know that that’s what they are, but that often times leads to conflict. You have one who knows about budgeting, and another who is completely clueless about budgeting. You have people who enter into marriage, who may be in their early 20s who want all of life’s luxuries and necessities. That mom and dad have after 25 years of marriage. All those things are part of preparation, financially.
Communication. Most of us don’t even understand ourselves very well. And so one of the things that I tried to do is help people not only understand their spouse to be, but what’s going on inside of them, that can actually be leading to miscommunication that can be leading to miss understanding. So, learning how to listen. We all like to talk, you know, I’m ready. what the feeling is it’s been expressed the content of the what’s behind the feeling. One of the things that seems so elusive to young couples in particular, is what they really want. So learning how to listen well to understand that is one of the things.
When it comes to sex, and a large part of it is re-educating people from the unhealthy things that they are exposed to, to what is actually healthy and right and good for a marriage relationship. “
Not only is premarital counseling good for your marriage in the years to come but thanks to the Texas Legislature, you can get a big discount on your marriage license! For more information, visit http://www.twogetherintexas.com